i swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past
by Potato-Post.Community
Summary: After years of trying to get the hang of parenting, Midoriya Izuku takes Kirishima up on his offer to come to Bakugou's welcome home party. With Bakugou not having a place to stay, Izuku agrees to let him stay at his house while he finds an apartment. Too bad he forgets to tell him he has kids. (Oops.) Or, in which Izuku is a human disaster and Katsuki's a mess.


**First chapter is up! (I should be working on other fics, but here I am, lol). This is set in an Alternate Universe where quirks don't exist, Midoriya is a single dad, and they're all police men. (Bunch of background ships too, lmao.)**

Waking up sucks, and it's brought with lead-filled limbs and sleep-filled eyes. Opening your eyes means having to adult and having to shake off the drowsiness that longs to pull you back under. Unconsciousness, to Izuku, is bliss. But, sometimes, it can be a good thing, he'll admit. Up with the sun comes Kouta and Eri, age 6 and age 5 respectively.

Sure, sleep was always the better option most of the time. Raising kids was exhausting, even with Kirishima and Uraraka's help. His ex-wife was only in the picture on select weekends when she didn't have work, which made things a _lot_ more stressful. A night out for Izuku was about as hard to find as a needle in a haystack, one that you couldn't actually _burn_. Instead of having an actual partner, Izuku had opted to hang out with coffee during long nights.

This weekend was one of those weekends where his ex-wife had the kids, and depression could swallow Izuku up. The caffeine crash came earlier than he had expected, sending him hurtling towards a brick wall. No kids plus caffeine plus depression? It created a supernova of a human disaster, spread out to thin and trying to hard.

If he had any say, he'd stay in bed and sink, sink, sink, but his phone was shrieking the Spongebob theme song at full volume. Izuku, of course, didn't want to leave the warmth of his bed so it was a battle between options. Answer the call, which was probably one from his boss, or stay in bed. The depression list him and Todoroki had made as dumb teens gave extra points for getting out of bed though, and getting fired wasn't on Izuku's top ten things he'd like to do before he died. (Who was he kidding, his boss loved his employees to much to fire them, although he'd never admit it.)

After a long, bloody inner battle, Izuku rolls out of his bed, bringing all of his blankets onto the floor with him. Blindly, he flails his arm around to find his phone and brings it down to him. The ringtone had stopped, but he knows it'll pick back up any second now, so he spares himself the pain and clicks the 'Missed Call' notification and hits 'Call Back' without even looking at the phone.

"I'm not coming into work," he says as soon as the call goes through, "today's my monthly depression day."

The voice that answers him isn't Aizawa's, isn't done-with-Midoriya-Izuku's-shit yet, and definitely isn't tired. No, instead it sounds like butterflies high of their rocker. " _Hey, Midori-bro!_ " the voice chirps, way to happy for it to be…. 2 p.m. Huh. Izuku only groans as a remark. " _And everyday is your depression day, man. 'Monthly depression day' is just a big-assed lie and you know it._ _Anyway, I know that Miho has the kids tonight, which means you're free-_ "

"How dare you assume I'm free, Kiri-kun. I have so many plans tonight, they're boiling over!"

"Bold of you to assume I'm free, Kiri-kun," Izuku says, "I have so many plans tonight, they're just boiling over the pot. I mean, not to be a total Grinch or anything, but at four I gotta wallow in self-pity. 4:30, stare into the abyss, 5, solve world hunger and then tell _no one_. Oh, 5:30 is _jazzercise_." He does jazz hands to himself with one hand, because doing it with both would involve setting down the phone and that takes too much effort. "6:30 is dinner with me and I just _can't_ cancel that again! 7:30 is when I wrestle with my self-loathing… Gosh, I'm absolutely booked!"

" _That was so much word vomit, I can't even keep up,_ " Kirishima says. " _We get it, the Grinch movie from the 2000's was the best one. It's so outdated, though._ "

"How dare you assume I'm old. I'm only 29."

" _For how many years?_ "

Izuku shushes him. "Don't out me like this. Why do you want to know if I'm free anyway?"

" _For the record, I_ know _you're free-_ " Kirishima is shushed again, although Izuku makes sure to do it louder this time. He's hungry, he decides, so a trip to the kitchen is in order. He gets to his feet using aching limbs and thinks that he should do his morning stretches, but cheat days for him are few and far between. If he relaxes today, then it'll only be a problem for future him. "- _but_ regardless _. Bakubro's coming back from his stay in America, so Class A is gonna do a little get together at some club Mina frequents._ "

"Frequents is such a big word for someone with a small, little brain."

" _Don't out me like this, man_."

Izuku enters his kitchen, and groans at the amount of dishes still in the sink. Future him problem. "Stealing my lines, huh?" he accuses, reminding himself that _yes_ , he _is_ on the phone. He moves swiftly from cupboard to cupboard, stocked full of sugary cereal, jars and bags of ingredients, and boxes of snacks to chow on. "Where is my _coffee_ ," he groans to himself, "don't tell me I'm out…"

He hears the phone shift on Kirishima's end. " _So, yeah, you wanna come? We're meeting up at 8. Perfect for your schedule, right?_ "

On Kirishima's end, the phone shifts and he can hear some background noise. " _You're out_ ," he says. Izuku makes a mental note to punch the lights out of him later. " _So, are you gonna come? We're meeting up at eight, because that's when Bakugou's flight lands. It's perfect for your schedule!_ " Izuku hums in faux thought. " _C'mon, Midori-bro, it's_ Kacchan!"

"Y'know, he'd absolutely murder you if he heard you say that."

" _Yeah, I know_."

Izuku heaves a sigh, pulling out the box of Lucky Charms. He shakes it to try to gauge how much is in it, although it feels light. After setting it on the counter, he takes out the Cap'n Crunch. "Okay, okay, I guess I'll go. _But_ , you have to come by my house in ten minutes with coffee, donuts for breakfast, _and_ McDonald's. For lunch."

If he was still in school, he'd bet his lunch money that Kirishima's rolling his eyes at him, but he's not. Plus, Izuku knows that saving money is a better deal than blowing it all at one time. (He'd never forget how hard his mom worked to keep a stable income while Izuku stood by, doing nothing but sobbing as he was shoved into the ground. Kouta and Eri, they'd never suffer like that if he had any say in it.)

" _Whatever you say, unhealthy man-child,_ " Kirishima says.

"I'm _offended_ , Kiri-ku-" There was a telltale _beep_ that signalled the other had hung up on him. "I can't believe that utter _dumbass-_ " Izuku runs a hand through his curls and lets his body sag into a slouch. He grabs a bowl and makes his way to the fridge. The milk is half empty, and he should've bribed Kirishima to get him groceries instead. The milk is set down beside the bowls, and a drawer is opened so Izuku can grab a spoon. Like everything in life, it takes a few tries, but he's eventually able to find the right drawer.

Within one trip, all the ingredients for his breakfast of kings are spilled out on the table. First goes the Lucky Charms, then the Cap'n Crunch because there's _really_ no Lucky Charms left. He fills it up with milk next. "Perfect," he mumbles, "finally time to eat." Brandishing a grin that doesn't feel quite right, he makes to plop down. Far to late, though, does he realize that his chair _isn't under him_. His foot slides out from under him and his arm shoots out as he prays to find something to grasp. His fingers sweep against the cold material of the bowl and without thinking, he curls them around the edge as it's yanked towards him.

The whole bowl topples over on him, like a heavenly waterfall filled with golden treasures. The bowl itself clunks down on Izuku's head as he whips it back, slamming the back of it into the actual chair. Izuku _yells_ , _shouts, screams_. "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WHAT THE HELL?!" He rockets forward and his hands fly up to grip at his head. "Dear. Fucking. _Lord_." Milk soaks into his already weary limbs, and he thinks for a sliver of a second that he should've stretched or done something to wake himself up.

Izuku's still on the ground, clutching his head and curled up in the fetal position when he hears Kirishima slam the door shut. His voice echoes through the hall, but Izuku hardly cares. Little marshmallows stick to his cheeks, and his ass _and_ head hurt like a bitch. From out in the living room, he hears the clinking of keys being thrown onto the table that sits beside the door and the sound of boots scuffing up the floor as they're taken off. "Hey, Midori-bro! I hope you don't mind, but I let myself in! And you said I'd never need the spare key. I got you the food too, so- what the absolute _fuck_."

"My cereal's soggy now," Izuku tells him, turning his head just enough to see Kirishima. In his arms is a box of a dozen donuts and on top of that is Izuku's coffee and McDonald's. "Oh, brunch time." Ignoring the ringing in his head, he rolls over and forces himself to his feet. "Can you even call it brunch?" he questions.

Kirishima only shakes his head, aura bleeding with disappointment. "Your life is sad man. Go take a shower."

"The fries will be cold by then-"

"Shower or I'll call Iida and Uraraka!"

Oh god, not Tenya and Ochako. They'll rip him to pieces like a pack of wolves, then whirl around and put him back together with neon bandaids. "You wouldn't _dare_ do that to me, Kirishima Eijirou-" But Kirishima _does_ dare, and he pulls out his phone, arching a brow. Izuku can _hear_ him counting, even if his mouth doesn't move. With an exaggerated eye roll, he says, "Okay, okay, I'm going, _God_ , Mom, so pushy."

"Don't you use that tone of voice with _me, young man_."

Izuku makes a show of groaning exasperatedly, before stalking off to go take a shower. He makes a detour to stop by his room for clothes and slips into the bathroom to strip. The next obstacle is the actual shower itself. To actually shower, or not to shower, that is the question. Kirishima going full mom-mode in the kitchen to the icky milk and cereal in his hair, cleaning sounds really nice, but it _also_ sounds like so much _work_.

He must've stood there for _much_ longer than socially acceptable, because he hears Kirishima calling his name. Against his better judgement, he forgets about the fact that he _stripped_ , and opens the door. "What?"

" _Jesus fuck, shut the fucking door!_ "

"Wha- _oh_." Izuku slams the door and whips the towel off of the rack. Once it's secured around his waist, he re-opens the door. "Sorry, what?"

"Do you act like this when you have your kids home or are you just a mess when they're gone?" Kirishima asks. "You were taking so long, I thought you slipped and cracked open your head like an egg. Little Midori-bro sat on a wall, when he fell not even Hanta could put him back together."

"Sero can put anyone back together. He's a whiz with tape. Which is kinda weird. Like… who's special talent deals with _tape_?"

"Don't judge Sero, he's a good boy."

Kirishima grins his shark grin, and leans against the door frame. "You're a human disaster, Midori-bro." The redhead laughs at himself and shakes his head, hanging it low. "Okay, okay, if I don't hear that water come on in at least ten minutes, I'm throwing hands. Just take a bath or something. Easy peasy."

"Easy for you to say, functioning adult." Izuku shuts the door and drops down by the tubs' side. It takes a few minutes of fiddling with the dials until the water's exactly how he wants it, (scolding hot so he can be a tomato when he gets out). Like a fish, he slips in and shakes his head underneath the water. When his hair is soaked and the milk is mostly gone, he emerges. His hands softly card through his hair and he sinks into the water.

Showers are good for random thoughts and reenactments of rainy day TV dramas, but baths are when the real thoughts happen.

Like the fact that Midoriya Izuku's going to go to Bakugou Katsuki's Welcome Home party.

One of the first things that _Bakugou_ would want to see probably _wasn't_ Izuku. Even after making up at UA Police Academy, Izuku was the last person Bakugou would want to talk to. Their falling out the week that Bakugou left for America was most likely still hot on his mind, especially with the way that it was ever present on Izuku's.

Seeing the man would be a delight for Izuku, but hell for the other.

Izuku wasn't so keen on forcing Bakugou into hell just yet, but he _had_ already told Kirishima he was going. Damn. He stands and grabs his shampoo, squirting it into his hands. He slathers it in his hair, rinses it, and does the rest of his bath time routine. By the time he makes his way back into the kitchen, his hair is only damp. "Hey, Kiri-kun." Izuku takes a seat beside Kirishima and snags himself a jelly-filled donut. Kirishima hums and bites his own strawberry donut, grinning wide. "These are really good," Izuku says.

Well, yeah, waking up really _sucks_. Everything else that comes afterwards? That… that stuffs _golden_. Even if his kids are gone for the day, he's not alone, and that makes everything just that much better. (Is Izuku happy? No. Not quite. But he's pretty damn content, and that's all that matters.)

 **That's a wrap! This was so much fun to write! I'm glad I got around to posting it, and I'm looking forward to finishing it!**

 **Tumblr: potato-postcommunity**

 **AO3: potato_post_community**


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